Avast there ye scalywags! Listen up! I have a tale to tell.
Many of you, ok only a few, alright, alright just a couple, have asked me the most serious of questions. “How, in this day and age, did you become a pirate?”
Well, to answer truthfully, it started many years ago, in a realm far away. I was but a mere scribe for Castle Senecal when I was forced to flee for my life. I subsequently found myself on the run, forced to depend on upon my wits alone to survive. It was during this time that I found my true calling and became a pirate.
But I digress. To understand my reasoning, I must start from the beginning. Sit back my friends and hear my tale.
It started on an innocent day in the realm of sunshine. The month was June and everyone seemed happy. I went about my daily routine and this is where my world began to change drastically. The following is what was the beginning of the end of my life as a simple scribe———
Upon sitting down this am, before logging on to the interweb, I decided to check thorough my correspondence. I do still sometimes receive missives delivered to a box and the end of the drive leading to my castle. Looking through the various envelops, one in particular caught my eye. It was embossed with gold edging and had my name written in a wonderful script. Lacking a return address, I was intrigued at whom this could be from. Opening the envelope revealed a parchment type paper, rough to the touch.
There in the corner was a serious looking crest and in bold script proclaimed The Secret Society of Dear Darlings.
This declaration is directed to none other than MSenecal68
You are hereby ordered to CEASE AND DISIST!
It has come to our attention that you have been posting disparaging remarks about two of our esteemed members on a worldwide, public, electronic type media! This practice must stop immediately!!
The following members listed below are the reference for this directive.
Dear darling son Garrett
Dear darling husband Gary
Our members are fine upstanding members of the community and we can not risk our good name being tarnished with the knowledge of some our members acting less than their stellar selves!!
HEAD THIS WARNING and no further action will be taken!!!
Signed the leadership council of the Secret Society of Dear Darlings. S.S.D.D.
Oh dear! This may seriously hamper my writing!! Nah as long as they keep acting like their silly selves, I’ll keep posting about them.
However, if you don’t hear from me for a few days, you know I will have been stopped by S.S.D.D. *cue dramatic music*
Months went by and I thought all was well, until——–
Having just returned to the castle from a stroll around the royal property, I was summonsed to the formal parlor for an urgent missive from none other than the Secret Society of Dear Darlings! (S.S.D.D.)
It seems I have once again angered the powers that be by posting less than stellar communications about the two members in my household.
I tried to point out that I have also had glowing and complimentary communications about said members, to no avail!
They are threatening physical actions against my person if I don’t cease immediately. I may have to take drastic measures to insure my safety. The archers are already on post upon the parapets of the castle and the turret guards are on high alert!
I shall not be deterred from my mission to openly communicate upon this worldwide, electronic media. Stay tuned for updates and have all reinforcements at the ready to come and defend me and my dear darlings.
Shhhh you must be quiet as I am posting incognito. You must not tell the society you have heard from me. I may have to resort to masks and disguises in order to evade them. I am in hiding in a secure secret location for the time being.
I received urgent news from an outlying sentry that the Secret Society of Dear Darlings (S.S.D.D.) are ready to attack based on new posts I have made in the past few days.
They have also taken note of comments I made on one of my interweb friends posts about dear darling hubby!
You must help! They are ready to attack! Send reinforcements and any extra armaments to help defend my honor and my castle. The castle guards are on high alert but I could use any and all positive distraction techniques. Might someone be able to lend me an Ogre? Or could someone possibly provide a stick figure army so it would appear I have more manpower?
Please don’t let them punish me for free communications on this electronic media of the interweb. They are threatening to imprison me and keep me isolated from all communication devices and writing implements!!
That was the last entry I was able to get out. After that, I decided, for the safety of the rest of the subjects in the realm, to go on the run. I have been on the run ever since and have found my true calling, my muse spoke to me whilst upon the ocean and I realize that this is now my home.
I do come in from time to time and while on shore leave, will post my adventures or observances. The life of a pirate is not for everyone, but now, it is the only life I know!!
Thank all of you for joining me on this trip and may we have smooth seas and the wind at our back.