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Nautical Nonsense

Nautical Nonsense

Ahoy me hearties. I have been perusing my notebooks and journals and have come across some unseen gems that for one reason or another never got shared. The following one is from a prompt by T.A. Woods over at PenPaperPad. She wanted a story around April Fool’s Day (now you know how old this is). So rather than wait till next year, I am going to go ahead and share it now. Enjoy!
Nautical nonsense
Now while it is a known fact (or possibly just an over-used cliche) that pirates sometimes have a parrot on their shoulder, I refer not to a feathered variety but rather my B.I.R.D. 
What is this odd acronym you ask? Well, I’ll tell you just as I told my crew on the early spring day when they asked of me, “How do you seem to know when a battle is imminent and just who we might be up against, Captain?” 
“My dear and loyal crew, ’tis nothing for me with the aid of my trusty, all- knowing bird!”  

After the guffaws subsided and the pointing at my proud parrot upon my shoulder ceased, I continued. 
“I do not refer to the proud and loyal companion you see before you but to an electronic marvel that I utilize in my cabin. My B.I.R.D.”

B.I.R.D. stands for Bionic Intelligent Recon Device. 

 Sensing I had them just where I wanted them, I told them of the wonderful marvel. This electronic wizardry could see beyond the horizons to places unseen and report back coordinates, directions, strength of possible enemy fleets and even friend or foe status. 

One of my more educated crew seemed suspicious. They recalled on a recent shore leave seeing a device that was referred to as a G.P.S. “No, I assured them, this is no GPS unit. This device will accurately tell me the information I need to bravely travel forward.”

At this point they demanded to see this magical device so I had no choice but to herd them all into my cabin (which wasn’t too difficult seeing as how I have a small crew and a very spacious cabin) and reveal my secret. Upon throwing open the doors of the cabinet, they were astounded by…… 

(featured photo was supposed to be here but either I don’t know what I’m doing or WP hates me) (probably the first) 

  
 my B.I.R.D.,!! 

Glancing at the calendar on the wall of my cabin, they realized they had been fooled—a crew of fools on April Fool’s Day!! 

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2015 in Random Wanderings

 

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The Adolescent Diaries

The Adolescent Diaries

Adolescent attitudes creating
Angst in the pre-teen heart
Anxiety
Apprehension
Altogether a volitive mix

Pre-teen son
Pre-menopausal mom
Dangerous combination
Hormones set to explode

Spending time at a girlfriends house
Supervised yes but still
My own house quiet-too quiet
Idle time and an idle mind

Hi everyone! Yes I have been away for a time but situations that kept me away have changed again and I’m ready to regale you with adventures! The above poem was my feeble attempt to get my head around the fact that my dear darling son is growing up WAY too fast. He’s almost to the stage where military school starts sounding like a good idea but alas, not an option I can even think to explore because of health issues.

Between him and my other dear darling, I may have to lay in a larger than normal quantity of rum to get through the next few rounds of the dear darling knucklehead wars. At least alcohol is safer than anti-depressants and cheaper than therapy.

I think I may have to plot an extended tour and go out upon the sea to catch some quiet and solitude. Either that or send them on an extended trip and see if they both come back alive! Either way, something’s gotta give!

I leave you with a song that I have always liked and my son has discovered recently.
It is “Amazing” indeed!

 
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Posted by on May 12, 2014 in The Dear Darlings

 

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